The 10 Worst Movies of 2015

 

 

 

Paper Towns

This movie needs Jason.  The only thing that might save it would be the systematic elimination of its characters.  But then there is the horrible possibility of final girl survival.  Terminal disease might be a better option.  That way the innocent bystanders could be spared.  But something should be done about this Margo thing, and the perpetuation of the myth that there is anything at all attractive about these sociopathic girls who float through suburban streets on the power of their self-love.

 

Eden

Nothing adds up in Megan Griffith’s film of Kim Chong’s memoir.  Either the author was omitting material that might have implicated her in high crimes, or the whole thing was a load of crap.  As Griffith tells the story, it lurches from one improbable jump to the next, its incompetence pillowed in the gravity of its subject matter.   But the most exploitive junk off the cuff of Jess Franco has more truth than this allegedly true story of a young Korean-American who is abducted into the sex slavery racket and connives her way into a partnership with her abductor.   Time has since revealed that Griffith and Chong are bunko artists and that the movie “Eden” is a fabrication.

 

Z for Zachariah

“Z for Zachariah” is a Z-grade debasement of  “The World, The Flesh, and the Devil,” a B-movie classic from 1959.  This worthless piece of crap was directed by Craig Zobel.  His larcenous cohort, Nissar Modi, commandeered some few elements of  Robert C. O’Brien’s  1974 novel of the same name to cover the major thefts from the earlier movie. The title, as it refers to Zachariah as the last man as opposed to the first man Adam, makes no sense in the context to Zobel’s movie, which is not the story of the last man on Earth, but of the last two men, one white and one black, and their rivalry for the last woman.

 

The Runner

We have all been told countless times that the sixties are over, so we can no longer expect to see any thoughtful political films such as “Dr. Strangelove,” “The Best Man,” “Advise and Consent,”   or “Medium Cool.”  Even during the Reagan-Bush era, which spanned the years 1981-2009, with an 8 year hiatus for Bill Clinton’s frat-boy party, there was room for politically astute movies such as “Under Fire,” “Salvador,” “Missing,” “Team America,” “The Corporation,” “They Live,” and “The Killing Fields.” Today there is little else besides some smart-ass Michael Moore bullshit tirades.  But “The Runner” skins its knees right down to the bone.  This is a political fairy tale for those who believe a politician can be an alcoholic whore-fucker and still be justified in representing the people, the certainty of his  moral superiority intact. It is a movie for those Democrats who might believe Bernie Sanders the better candidate in 2016, but will support Hilary Clinton instead, because they believe it when they are told she has a better chance of defeating the Republican opposition. The Republican opposition?  What Republican opposition?  The Democrats will win the presidency in 2016 regardless of whom they decide to put into office.  And they have promised the office to Hillary Clinton so long ago that she believes it has always been her destiny to be the country’s first woman president.

 

Madame Bovary

The overflow of enthusiastic reviews for the new 2015 film edition of  “Madame Bovary” suggests a disturbing level of illiteracy among today’s film critics.  Not just an illiteracy of literature, but also of film. None of the many film adaptations of Flaubert’s novel is absolutely true to its source, but this one is absolute in the wrongness of every detail.

 

Wild Horses

“Wild Horses” is not simply a bad movie; it is an incomprehensibly bad movie.  There are scenes in which the shots don’t even cut. The inconsistent positions of the actors within the frame, from one shot to another,  are as jumpy as they were in Jean-Luc Godard’s  amateurish debut, 1959’s “Breathless.  And as for Vera Farmiga. another holdover from “The Judge,”……..her performance, weird as it is, may have had some merit, but director Duvall not only makes her look much worse than she is, but includes entrance and exit shots that give the impression of a student theatrical.

 

The Eichmann Show

An ill-conceived and incompetently executed misery of a film. There is no need to go into the shortcomings of this BBC production, as they are legion, and shortchange history in every regard. The only positive aspect of this grotesquely written and acted show is that it may lead viewers to looking deeper into the subject. The authentic transcripts of the trial are a good place to start.

 

Maggie

It looks very much like an episode of “The Walking Dead,” and I suspected at first that it was made to give fans of that show something to watch during its between-season hiatus. so I was surprised to find that nobody in the “Maggie” crew was associated with “The Walking Dead.” In fact, they were associated with nothing before the “Maggie” project.

 

Room

The whole thing is a fraud, the kind of nervy soap opera that used to be popular with housewives on the Lifetime Channel.  I found it amateurish, dull, and emotionally cold, as well as having its fair share of puzzling episodes

 

The Danish Girl

Although the story is quite tragic, and many will find it shatteringly so, especially when seeing it through the perspecitive of recent victories in the battle for equal rights of the gay, lesbian, and transgendered communities, “The Danish Girl” left me unmoved.  While images such as Dirk Bogarde’s make-up  grotesqely melting in the heat as he awaits his death on the beach in “Death in Venice,” will haunt me forever, Redmayne’s wilting face is something I wanted to get away from as quickly as possible, never to recall.

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4 thoughts on “The 10 Worst Movies of 2015

  1. I suppose I should say that I have seen none of these films, and certainly didn’t ever intend to watch at least eight of them. You saved me about sixteen hours of my already short enough remaining life. Cheers, Bill.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can honestly say that you will miss nothing for not having seen these pictures. I had a list of 15 to begin with, and whittled it down to the very worst. I trust your new year is off to a fine beginning and you are fortunate enough to see only the best movies from here on in.

    Like

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